r/Unexpected Aug 11 '22 Silver 6 Table Slap 1 Wholesome 4 Helpful 4

The King shows how it's done

25.4k Upvotes

u/unexBot Aug 11 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

king of the jungle show how its done to the humans


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

4.0k

u/FearCure Aug 11 '22 Press F Burning Cash

A Lion would never cheat on it’s wife. But a Tiger Wood.

687

u/peenutbuttherNjelly Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

Who would've guessed. The king of the Jungle. Got a thing for the Oral

210

u/aaravaryaman Didn't Expect It Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

TIL that Lions get head

inb4 he fails to satisfy his lioness' urges 40 times a day and gets his OO and D bitten

83

u/Shad_the_memer Aug 11 '22

He does what he needs to protect his kingdom

123

u/Love_God551 Aug 11 '22

Not called the king for nothing

68

u/The-One-Winged-Angel Aug 11 '22

Simba's song takes on a whole different meaning now.

53

u/chiller5656 Aug 11 '22

free to run around all day🎶 free to do it all my way!! 🎶

33

u/BeatsbyChrisBrown Aug 12 '22

Can’t you feel🎶the love tonight🎶

20

u/niikobellik Aug 12 '22

Thanks for bringing Simba into this. I will never see the lion king the same, ever 💀

18

u/Love_God551 Aug 11 '22

‘Precisely’ lol

10

u/TracyMorganFreeman Aug 11 '22

"I just can't wait until dad dies"

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57

u/thumbown Aug 11 '22

Her gesture right before the straddling was very much of the "oh not again" variety.

10

u/didwanttobethatguy Aug 11 '22

I see you’ve seen it before too

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12

u/Sti8man7 Aug 12 '22

Didn’t even ask or anything. Just shove it in her face “do ur thang, bitch”. And the lion is the face of chivalry.

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10

u/Wolfmans-Gots-Nards Aug 11 '22

It’s good to be da king.

6

u/Keithninety Aug 12 '22

KNIGHT JUMPS QUEEN!!

4

u/Odd_Routine4164 Aug 12 '22

That little boy is going to do that to his baby sitter.

66

u/etrob90 Aug 11 '22

Evacuate the city, engage all defenses and get this man an award.

39

u/nervouswhenitseasy Aug 11 '22

would never cheetah on its wife

9

u/papadapper Aug 11 '22

It's not easy, being cheezy.

12

u/Peanutcokelord Aug 11 '22

punches glass and snorts Cheeto dust

25

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

He may SAY he would never cheat, but he's a-lion.

3

u/76_chaparrito_67 Aug 12 '22

👆underrated!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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8

u/StinkpotPeters Aug 12 '22

A lion doesn't have to cheat, he's got a lot of pride!

7

u/quackyer Aug 11 '22

What about cheetahs?

5

u/No_Interaction9019 Aug 11 '22

Nothing to be ashamed nature Just running it’s course

4

u/HeFancy Aug 11 '22

The quality of this comment is impeccable!

3

u/Left-Idea4603 Aug 12 '22

boy, you ain't lion!

2

u/No-Gas7121 Aug 12 '22

Pun of the year right here

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2.2k

u/aaravaryaman Didn't Expect It Aug 11 '22

that dad with the kid was like, this is not what we paid for

that kid is gonna have soooooo many questions lmao

539

u/___Eternal___ Aug 11 '22

Seeing that probably kickstarted puberty.

153

u/PM-ME-YOUR-REFUGEES Aug 11 '22

And made her mom start ovulating.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

Hmm.

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85

u/Gloomy__Revenue Aug 11 '22

A furry is born

20

u/CyberIdeot Aug 12 '22

Don’t let them see this

6

u/Crezelle Aug 12 '22

Discovery channel made a lot of furries in the old days

64

u/Recon212 Aug 11 '22

Shakin da balls shakin da balls

3

u/Peanutcokelord Aug 11 '22

Can I? Can I?

47

u/Cheesehacker Aug 11 '22

Oh no. The caged animals are acting like animals. surprised pickachu

43

u/LoserBoy_- Aug 11 '22

“Don’t worry son he’s just uhh— Teabagging her” 😅

13

u/TheRagingRavioli Aug 11 '22

like modern warfare 2 lad

36

u/BobBricoleur13 Aug 11 '22

I’d have fallen on the floor lmao and left a tip if that happened at the zoos I went to with my kids!

Guy was at ball-level too… took him quite a long while to realise what tf was happening

4

u/chappysinclair1 Aug 11 '22

1st hand, ball cam

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10

u/Sinemetu9 Aug 11 '22

Took the dad a coupla secs though...

6

u/Akshin_Blacksin Aug 11 '22

Reminds me of Eminem rapping parents allowing kids to be babysit by Discovery Channel unsupervised and learn about sex…

5

u/HalfSoul30 Aug 11 '22

"Roll em up!"

6

u/jesterjam94 Aug 12 '22

Kid:look dad they’re doing the same thing mommy and the neighbor do

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1.8k

u/Boss_Dzadzy Aug 11 '22 Gold

Observe puny humans, mouth secs.

356

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

I burst out laughing from this. No joke, I'm hanging off a cellphone tower wasting time at work, and I have tears in my eyes from laughing at this.

Thank you

117

u/Boss_Dzadzy Aug 11 '22

Network service engineer?

128

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

That's a fancy title, but yeah lol

98

u/iSkruf Aug 11 '22

Wire monkey is more accurate.

69

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

Eh, sometimes. More like " steel monkey/radio monkey"

35

u/Boss_Dzadzy Aug 11 '22

Be safe up there.

32

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

Always. Thank you!

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39

u/flippyskitty Aug 11 '22

That feels like a really bad place to be browsing reddit

46

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

Or, conversely, a really COOL place. I'm all secured and saftey'd off, my harness has a seat. I'm not going anywhere I don't want to.

20

u/Nellao005 Aug 11 '22

That honestly sounds peaceful. Wind through my hair, while bs on Reddit!

28

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

Totally! And the view, amazing. Looking over the entire valley, Mt Ranier, and endless sky.

21

u/Victimadelasuciedad Aug 11 '22

Bonus points if you do it naked, leave em danglin in the wind. True freedom

13

u/Nellao005 Aug 11 '22

Very reddit-esque!

20

u/Victimadelasuciedad Aug 11 '22

you know reddit 2 parts wholesome, 1 part NSFW 3 parts unhinged lunatics 4 parts bad math.

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3

u/flippyskitty Aug 11 '22

You do you, I guess.

9

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

It's not unsafe, so whatevs.

6

u/Picklerage Aug 11 '22

I don't know, browsing Reddit up there is one thing, doing yourself seems sketchy

11

u/pmactheoneandonly Aug 11 '22

Aw man, there goes my plan for a sky nut! : /

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7

u/IAmAn_Anne Aug 11 '22

I think she turned her head and he’s trying to bang her ear. Aural secs?

5

u/Boss_Dzadzy Aug 11 '22

Aural ... Clever

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1.0k

u/TheLeopardSociety Aug 11 '22

Can you feel the love tonight???

185

u/j_tothemoon Aug 11 '22

oh I just can't wait to be kinggggg

8

u/AlmostGaveAShit Aug 11 '22

Underrated comment hahaha

113

u/M4GN3T1CM0N0P0L3 Aug 11 '22 Silver

The circle of life is a 69.

15

u/essgee_ai Aug 11 '22

Take my free award!

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9

u/vanndave Aug 11 '22

"Let an old pro show you how it's done"

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922

u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 Aug 11 '22

With those fangs and sandpaper tongue, he’s only gonna be so bold once.

367

u/KilonumSpoof Aug 11 '22

It's not like the barbed penis makes it any more comfortable for the lioness.

90

u/Unlucky-Pomegranate3 Aug 11 '22

I wouldn’t think so but the biological imperative is a powerful thing. Who knows what they’re into?

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20

u/Rainbow_Flamethrow Aug 12 '22

That's why he's Scar and not Mufasa.

11

u/Setup69 Aug 11 '22

Phahaha, ouch.

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329

u/skd25th Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

HOLLY SHIT..... that's gWAK gwak 3000 ultra😵

Edit: holly shit, thanks for all the upvotes guys, never thought, would get this many🙌❤️

3

u/tricycle_fun2 Aug 12 '22

if you look close enough you can still see the female’s nose and mouth. He’s just banging the side of her face lmao

3

u/skd25th Aug 12 '22

Bad aim, ig

2

u/Longjumping_Stock880 Aug 12 '22

There's no way it's actually real with those fangs

1

u/LoserBoy_- Aug 11 '22

GIVE ME THAT LIONESSSSSSSS!!!!

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300

u/Vazhox Aug 11 '22

No! Let the boy watch…Let the boy watch. He needs to learn, the way I learned from my father. The way he learned from his father.

66

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

Heavy breath. Powerful thrusts.

17

u/SupertrampTrampStamp Aug 11 '22

Let him see what is consecrated here tonight

17

u/Kevin_Sorbo_Herc Aug 11 '22

Plums.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

Gettin’ ready t’take ‘em down to the farmer’s market. Special: 2 plums for 1.

6

u/bartino84 Aug 11 '22

All the school children are lining up to put em in their sack lunches

5

u/aberdisco Aug 11 '22

"The light dancin' off them just nice."

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276

u/mr_smith24 Aug 11 '22

Lioness : I hate people always staring

Lion : let’s give ‘em a show then

Lioness : what you mea….

138

u/LoserBoy_- Aug 11 '22 Wholesome

Lmfao

“What you mea— gwllaalalallaaaakkkkkaaa”

3

u/Aggressive-Use-5657 Aug 12 '22

Why in my head did the lion sound like Butcher from the Boys?

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235

u/dragon1n68 Aug 11 '22

Kinda looks like he's tea-bagging her.

91

u/Calm_Gap2069 Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

He is tea bagging, you can see the lioness’s mouth flop with disapproval

14

u/Additional-Low321 Aug 11 '22

Can not believe this is so far down. The good old tea bag.

3

u/Agreeable-Meat1 Aug 12 '22

It looks like he's poking her in the eye.

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177

u/1Sluggo Aug 11 '22

Took dad long enough to figure out what was happening.

78

u/Dorkzilla_ftw Aug 11 '22

I think he was curious too

45

u/pdx-peter Aug 11 '22

It’s been awhile.

15

u/visionarygvp Aug 11 '22

I think he wanted to watch but remembered he was with child and snapped out of it.

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124

u/SiouxsieAsylum Aug 11 '22

I both am shocked and am also completely unsurprised that non-human animals do oral sex. I really didn't know that they could? With all that teeth/the shape of most animal dicks?

Huh.

68

u/Brandonkey8807 Aug 11 '22

You know a lot about the shapes of different animal dicks bud?

49

u/Doknj Aug 11 '22

This doesn't seem like oral, you can see the lioness' sort of closed mouth.

27

u/EatAPotatoOrSeven Aug 11 '22

Is it... Is he... Is he fucking her eyeball?

47

u/MinusSteez Aug 11 '22

He’s brushing her teeth

2

u/Cyrano_de_Boozerack Aug 12 '22

Vagina dentata a la...fuck it.

2

u/redglasscoffee Aug 12 '22

Nope. Aural Secs.

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15

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

If you follow the black line of her mouth you can see that she turns her head and he’s humping the side of her neck.So shocked the first couple times I watched it, I definitely thought he was thrusting it into her open mouth though.

Edit: I just watched it again, maybe he’s humping the neck fold? Haha

9

u/Doknj Aug 12 '22

Okay buddy no need to watch it THAT many times. We dont wanna awaken anything

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3

u/WaddurSteak Aug 12 '22

This isn’t oral sex this is a show of dominance or something

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119

u/Adrina422 Aug 11 '22 Silver

22

u/stone_henge Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

Exquisite choice.

10

u/shinzul Aug 12 '22

omg absolutely underrated comment right here

4

u/Novantico Aug 12 '22

One of my all time favorite gifs

64

u/ozymandias_1984 Aug 11 '22

And that's how furries are made.

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52

u/ThunderSnowDuck Aug 11 '22

I was friends with a guy in high school who's family bred golden retrievers. His backyard was often the wierdest/cutest orgy youve ever seen. The main stud had a move he'd pull sometimes where he'd be humping away like normal, then would spin the female around and start humping her face just like this, occasionally finishing on their face. Either the dog learned it on his own from being in the room with porn in the tv (this was 1997ish), or my friend or his brother trained him to do it because it was honestly pretty funny to see because of the stupid smile on the stud's face...either way, that's terrifying lol

15

u/Sonjayx1 Aug 11 '22

What

5

u/ThunderSnowDuck Aug 12 '22

Correct

6

u/PewmyZ Aug 12 '22

Seriously what in the yeehaw creep shit

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42

u/ilike-hugs Aug 11 '22

The dad's gonna show his son the human version using his mom

67

u/BornAgainForeskin Aug 11 '22

"C'mon Timmy, we don't need to see this...we have it on Blu-ray with David Attenborough narrating it at home."

36

u/Iceman23578 Aug 11 '22

Yh I need to stop looking at comments in this subreddit. Full of proper weirdos

13

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

Dude what 💀?

13

u/Calfredie01 Aug 11 '22

Please watch less porn

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36

u/MDherefortheParty Aug 11 '22

"And now the male Lion is demonstrating how to tea bag dem bitches" - Sir David Attenborough probably

6

u/gringottsbanker Aug 11 '22

Replayed the sentence in my head with David Attenborough and Morgan Freeman’s voice. Both sounded great.

37

u/RamTheKnife Aug 11 '22

"Keep talking shit and its anal with your mouth Rebecca"

35

u/Bala_96 Aug 11 '22

Never thought animals do that

19

u/BennyOcean Aug 11 '22

They do weird things in captivity that don't normally happen in the wild. This might not be something you'd see in their natural habitat.

15

u/fightatsight Aug 12 '22

Well in captivity they are 100% on full display. In wild we may miss.

7

u/Ecstatic-Jaguar-4707 Aug 12 '22

He's humping her head. Animals hump anything.

2

u/time_over Aug 12 '22

Don't you fucking dare call me an animal

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36

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '22

The video was edited, she actually goes ATM

48

u/amogus_mukbang Aug 11 '22

Automatic teller machine?

5

u/LoserBoy_- Aug 11 '22

Lmfaooooooo

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29

u/MLDPK4 Aug 11 '22

Is he fucking her nose?

13

u/Ojacks0no Aug 11 '22

I’m pretty sure he is. I was searching for this comment because I thought the same.

3

u/MLDPK4 Aug 11 '22

I'm glad someone else saw this hahaha

30

u/BitofaGreyArea Aug 11 '22

That dad was NOT ready to have the BJ Talk.

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u/MrBozooo Aug 11 '22 edited Aug 11 '22

It took 4 to 5 pumps for dad to stop looking and protect his offspring's delicate soul. Does that qualify for r/stepdadreflexes?

15

u/SoIdierBoy Aug 11 '22

In Swahili the word for ass to mouth is Mufasa

12

u/IamDMack Aug 11 '22

I feel sorry for the kid 😂

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u/MediocreFisherman317 Aug 11 '22

Her husband was watching from the closet

10

u/ErroneousJester Aug 11 '22

This seems like a great opportunity to have the talk

9

u/nightknight-16 Aug 11 '22

Bj forever

Even for lions

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6

u/evel-kin Aug 11 '22

The ol fuck her in the eye socket move.... gets en every time.

6

u/ken-d00 Aug 11 '22

Never knew animals were into oral, you know besides dogs self love.

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5

u/devta888 Aug 11 '22

Every person with dick loves BJ...

5

u/bbking414 Aug 11 '22

Gonna be a long car ride home for the dad

5

u/do_you_know_de_whey Aug 11 '22

Some glorious glizzy gobblin right thur

4

u/Traditional_Two_7475 Aug 11 '22

Unexpectedly went from from G rated to X rated

2

u/Feeling_Hyena2349 Aug 11 '22

“Let the boy WATCH” - Ashley Schaefer, East Bound and Down

3

u/LordSeismic Aug 11 '22

More importantly, why did this person continue to take the video. Zooporn?

3

u/rincon213 Aug 11 '22

It’s hilarious seeing animals have sex in a zoo full of families. The only ones making it awkward are the parents.

2

u/nkmusume Aug 11 '22

What the heck

2

u/business2690 Aug 11 '22

where did they even learn that?

lionesses teeth are sharp.

2

u/joshtx72 Aug 11 '22

Up your nose with a rubber hose.

3

u/doyouevenforkliftbro Aug 11 '22

Obtuse rubber goose!

2

u/PoolNearbyswim Aug 11 '22

Father said come on kids let's go see the monkeys next

2

u/cbunni666 Aug 11 '22

LMAO. The head grab to lure him away was classic.

2

u/Nyang3 Aug 11 '22

Lion: c'mon lioness give that bj show me your head game and prove it to the world right now and I'll wife you

Lioness:Huh.. Do it then

2

u/DisasterWolf76 Aug 11 '22

Babe, it's 4pm time to fuck my mouth!

Yes honey...

2

u/Konzillaa Aug 11 '22

😂😂😂 the greatest thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit

2

u/darkiiness Aug 11 '22

Why they surprised.. we all know lions eat meat

2

u/goGetter_247 Aug 11 '22

Lioness: I can’t Lionel. I’m on my period. Lion: Np

2

u/MRHubrich Aug 11 '22

That dad REALLY didn't want to explain this to his kid...

2

u/Timely-Guest-7095 Aug 12 '22

That lioness was having none of his bullshit teabagging.

2

u/darthvader8055 Aug 12 '22

In the jungle the naughty jungle....