I genuinely hate that people sexualize breastfeeding. Hate it my family makes it a big deal. “Stop showing your tits!” Like I’m feeding my child. Why should I care if a man gets turned on? They can deal with it. It’s not my problem! I genuinely don’t understand if I get turned on randomly at something I’m not supposed to I look away. Problem solved. I genuinely don’t understand why society shamed women for every decision they make.

Let me start by saying this is objectively a pretty great resource and it’s cool for parents to give their kids a boost into adulting. My problem is that boys in patriarchal communities get this, girls don’t because they’ve been cooking for huge families since childhood and they’re expected to not only know all of this already, but to enjoy doing things like meal planning as a fun hobby, preparing for their one possible future: being homeschooling mothers to as many children as they can possibly produce. (No diss on homemakers or parents or or homeschooling, but it’s a problem when you are told any other choice “really isn’t God’s plan”)

Although my parents were planning to pay for on-campus apartment for him (don’t get me started), he decided he wants to live off campus with no meal plan.

Cue my mom creating this packet for him with photocopied recipes, grocery lists, etc. etc.

I’m kind of furious. What did I get when I moved out at 23? “This isn’t a good idea. You should live with us until you get married. I don’t understand why you’re being so rebellious. You must really hate us. We never did anything to deserve this, you’re being ungrateful.”

Oh and that note about draining the grease from the sloppy joe recipe card? She added that after an incident when I was 12 or 13 where she literally just handed me the card to make dinner for the family with no additional instruction and then critiqued how fatty the meat was and asked if I followed the recipe. Yeah, I did. I’m 13 and nobody ever told me about draining ground beef.

My dad also refused to teach me anything about cars or “boy stuff” around the house, so I’ve been teaching myself basic shit like “how to change a tire” from YouTube videos. But, of course, I can cook and host dinner for 40 people no problem because I was trained to be a good little housewife from childhood. Don’t even get me started on the parentification, homeschooling, childcare responsibilities and cleaning. I got to be a kid for a little while, but I was the third parent by the time I was 12. Because since Jesus was “about his father’s business” by then, we should assume that 12 year old children are adults. Explains a LOT about the gross attitudes conservative men have toward “underage women” (little fucking girls for fuck’s sake.) And I know plenty of gals in our church group who had parentification way worse (ie my mom telling me I was lucky and had nothing to complain about since I didn’t have to get up in the middle of the night to feed an infant brother like a 14 y.o. family friend from our church group. How ‘bout if instead, we don’t make children care for the babies their adult parents decided to make?? And she wonders why I’m not super excited to have kids)

Patriarchal structures and values have literally robbed me of my childhood, my agency, and my bodily autonomy. I am filled with rage and I no longer care about being the “bigger person” or trying to empathize. This shit is radioactive-waste-level toxic and I no longer have any qualms about burning it all to the ground.

Thanks for listening.