r/WitchesVsPatriarchy 6d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Helpful 3 Silver 1 I'll Drink to That 2 Wholesome 8 Gold 1

I aspire to live a life this audacious Meme Craft

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27.2k Upvotes

u/MableXeno ✨💗✨ 6d ago

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u/grampalearns 6d ago

Was it a specific nun, or did she just like to challenge herself?

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u/Content-Boss 6d ago Helpful

IIRC specifically it was a woman she had romantic relations with beforehand; the parents found out and sent their daughter to a convent. She joined the convent specifically to keep shagging her.

Also she was a minor for like, the majority of her legendary escapades if not all of them. She was straight up besting and occasionally killing grown ass men in sword duels and she wasn’t even 18 honestly straight up a badass person like when I was a teenager I was obsessed with making sure my Neopet was fed and here she was getting laid and taking names.

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u/moonchylde 6d ago

Now I need the YA novel of her escapades!

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u/molly_the_mezzo 6d ago

It's not YA, but Mademoiselle de Maupin is loosely based on her life. It's from the 19th century though, to manage expectations about writing style. It does focus quite a bit on her masculine gender identity, which is one of the most interesting things about her, in my opinion. The terms for gender identity were very different in the 17th century, but she frequently dressed in men's clothes, and biological sex was considered to be malleable based on behavior and the humors at the time, so some of her contemporaries posited that she had acquired male genitalia, which was a common rumor about queer women, especially if they wore men's clothes and participated in traditionally male activities like fencing. They basically thought that the female reproductive system was an inverted and internal penis and testes, and could fall out of your humors became unbalanced. I absolutely adore her, she was an utter badass.

Edit: I just remembered that there's also a 2014 book called Goddess by Kelly Gardiner, it came out after I finished my musicology degree so I momentarily forgot that it existed

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u/moeru_gumi Witch ⚧ 6d ago

So how does one unbalance ones humors in this way? Asking, uh, for a friend?

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u/Blue_Mando Trans-Witch ♀ 6d ago

Could one unbalance them in the exact opposite way, it would save me a bunch of money on car insurance surgery here soon. Asking, uh, for me.

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u/TheEndlessVortex 6d ago

That would be so cool if we could just in and out ourselves, depending on how we identify. I always wanted to experience having male genitalia and as NB it would be awesome to be able to flip between two. What a fantastic design option that would be! Evolution missed an opportunity

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u/Telomera 5d ago

My coworker and I were talking about how if you could take a pill for a day to be the opposite sex, would you and what would you do? I said I’d be a white man and land myself a better job. But yeah. I’d love to be able to experience it.

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u/Expensive_Giraffe_69 5d ago

Like those frogs. Yeah.

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u/Wolfinder 5d ago

Goddess, I feel you. Been saving 12 years now. It can be a nightmare.

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u/molly_the_mezzo 6d ago

Lol I think the relevant one here was making your blood too hot, but I am definitely not an expert in 17th century anatomical theory hahaha

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u/moeru_gumi Witch ⚧ 6d ago

*scarfs onions *

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u/badrussiandriver 6d ago

Life does a pretty good number on unbalancing humors, friend.

Just go with the flow.

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u/Choice-Valuable313 5d ago

Just for fun, I’ll share: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10800. The anatomy of melancholy is a weird, interesting old text on this.

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u/LochNessMother 5d ago

That’s fascinating! In an odd way they weren’t wrong about the inverted reproductive system, but yeah, it’s not going to pop out in a grown woman.

In prepubescent girls however…. there is a small community in the Dominican Republic (it also happens in Papua New Guinea and Turkey) where some boys don’t have a penis and balls until puberty at around 12. They are called Guevedoces and it blows my mind!

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u/Hiseworns 5d ago

They basically thought that the female reproductive system was an inverted and internal penis and testes, and could fall out of your humors became unbalanced.

Almost sorta kinda close, and yet so far. If only they had known about HRT and hadn't been so patriarchal

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u/PM_me_ur_beetles 6d ago

not the same, but if you want this you might like Delilah Dirk then!

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u/moonchylde 6d ago

Thank you, I'll look this up!

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u/NebulousOinkler2099 6d ago

She then broke her lover out of the convent by replacing her with a dead body and lighting the convent on fire. The fling lasted for only like 3 months or something. Julie then dueled and stabbed some wealthy guy who insulted her, who later went on to be another lover of hers. Julie was intensely bisexual

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u/narwhals-narwhals 6d ago

Yep, and the whole digging-up-a-dead-nun-and-framing-a-death-by-arson thing resulted in her getting a death sentence, which she escaped by running away and joining an opera crew again. But being sentenced to death was pretty inconvenient so she marched to speak with a count, who spoke to the King Louis XIV, who was so amused by the badassery of this lady that she got a royal pardon from the Sun King himself.

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u/Yvaelle 5d ago

IIRC, Julie grew up at the palace. Her father was the Master of Horses to Louis the 13th, he also wanted a son so badly that he pretended she was a boy as a child, and trained her thusly (only child, no mother).

She almost certainly knew the Sun King, and his flamboyantly gay little brother Prince Phillippe, from childhood life at the palace.

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u/bluehiro Forest Witch ♀♂️☉⚧ 6d ago

She's my favorite historical chaotic bisexual

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u/Felonious_Quail 6d ago

would definitely be a champion of Slaanesh in the Warhammer-verse.

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u/LadyGuitar2021 Trans Sapphic Forest Witch ♀ 5d ago

Now you had to go and ruin her for me. Heretic.

You are also completely right. So I'll let you go. Once.

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u/Born_Ad_4826 5d ago

She does sound kind of chaotic lol

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u/Fabianzzz Gay Wizard ♂️ 5d ago

Yeah, this got found out and then she got pardoned by the leader of France (idk if King or President at this point). Like all around badass they had to make exceptions for her.

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u/zuppaiaia 6d ago

Funny enough, there's no mention of this part of her life in her English Wikipedia page, although her other adventures are mentioned. You can find it in her French page though. It's like reading two similar lives, but not the same.

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u/shadow1515 6d ago

What an absolute badass. I wouldn't even be mad if she seduced my wife.

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u/LadyGuitar2021 Trans Sapphic Forest Witch ♀ 5d ago

When I was a ubder 18 teenager I was busy trying to convince myself I was male :(

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u/1272chicken 5d ago

Actually no, its better. All of that is right, but she faked the girls death by stashing a dead body in her room, lighting the room on fire, and dipping. Then presumably they fucked.

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u/turtle_duck 6d ago

There's a good episode of Noble Blood (podcast) about her called "Lovers and La Maupin" if you're interested.

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u/beardeddrunkdwarf 6d ago

There's also a brilliant episode on "you're dead to me" on her too.

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u/EvilQueerPrincess Slut🏳️‍⚧️ 6d ago

And I'd be surprised if she hasn't been covered by History is Gay.

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u/vandelay_industrie 6d ago edited 6d ago

All nuns are lesbians.

Source: I have them in my family and know a bunch more and they all joined so they could go to college and have a career but not date/marry men. I wanted to be a nun when I was little because they had such meaningful lives. Instead I had a typical life with a few husbands and no meaning… I just can’t deal with the religion or I would do it now!

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u/Reasonable-Walk7991 ✨Mouse🪡🐁✨ 6d ago

I’m pretty sure my nun aunt is ace but you make good points (source: some researchers did a sexuality study at her convent and she was like “???? People think about sex??? Huh???”)

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u/Starlightandspirits 5d ago

Why i wanted to be a nun in 4th grade is totally making sense now! I always got a vibe and absolutely was in awe of my teacher Sister Joanne. Impressed by my principal Sister Theresa Marie on the basketball court. These were strong women inmy life. I wanted to be them and maybe just be with them.

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u/Dot_Gale 6d ago
*All nuns are lesbians.*

Whoa, careful with the generalizations, there.

I’d say that there’s a lot of deep and valuable history and wisdom worth investigating in queer religious life and romantic love among nuns, priests, and monks throughout the ages, but it’s also true that many are straight or asexual or bisexual. Some struggle mightily with the vow of celibacy, some not at all (either because they don’t take it seriously or because they are asexual and it’s just a non-issue).

My mom was one of the women you speak of who joined a religious order because it seemed so much preferable to a life of marriage and children. It wasn’t until much, much later she realized she was lesbian (she came out in her fifties, when I was in college). Through her, I came to know many nuns and ex-nuns. They are a diverse and amazing community.

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u/TheEndlessVortex 6d ago

My partners mum is an ex nun. She married my partners dad. They met…in prison where he was serving a sentence for an attempted bank robbery. It’s such a fantastic story but she is super private and doesn’t want to talk about her life sadly. You said that your mum was a nun if I understood correctly. Did she leave the convent as well?

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u/LadyGuitar2021 Trans Sapphic Forest Witch ♀ 5d ago

My Mom's backup plan for when my Dad dies is to retire to a convent, she is also working on becoming a secular Nun.

She's also bi.

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u/vandelay_industrie 5d ago

Where is this place? Asking for a friend, I mean me.

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u/LadyGuitar2021 Trans Sapphic Forest Witch ♀ 4d ago

I have no idea. She is Catholic so it might just be wherever they send her?

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u/MichaelEmouse 5d ago

Why did going to college, having a career and not date men require being a nun? That seems like an extra step.

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u/vandelay_industrie 5d ago

Back when people became nuns a lot it was kinda necessary. Often women were trained that marriage was the only way to survive… and it was.

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u/Chrysalis_artist 5d ago

My understanding is that they also used the body of a deceased nun to pretend it was her lovers body and they set fire to the nunnery as they escaped.

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

Yep. She had taken a lover, the girl's parents found out and sent her to a convent, Julie lied her way into the convent, then she and her lover took the body of an elderly nun who died in her sleep, put it in the girl's bed, set fire to the room, and climbed out the window. By the time the rest of the nuns found the fire, the body was impossible to identify, convincing them that the girl in question had died in an accidental fire. Of course, the truth did come out, resulting in Julie tried in absentia for arson.

Honestly I don't care why she tried to burn down a convent, she freed an unwilling nun and burned the convent and that is pretty fucking cool considering the power the Church had and abused at that time. I would not condone burning down a convent today, but at Julie's time I definitely condone it.

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u/TheDemonCzarina 5d ago

And she, presumably, didn't hurt any innocent people in burning the covenant? I'd hope anyway. I feel like it would be mentioned if there were any victims. Excellent execution of the play.

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u/Sof04 5d ago

Somebody came prepared with the hard-hitting questions.

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u/strelitza00 6d ago

The podcast You’re Dead to Me has a great episode about her. Just listened to it last week!

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u/Imaginary-Quiet-7465 6d ago

Came here to recommend this exact podcast!

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u/guarding_dark Cottage Witch ♀ 6d ago

I love this podcast series so much. Greg Jenner is an icon

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u/myceliummoon 6d ago

I am definitely going to check that out!

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u/traumablades 6d ago

She's mademoiselle steal yo gurl

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u/dusty-kat Sapphic Witch ♀ 6d ago

"I'll take your wife and then your life."

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u/Nunyabiz8107 6d ago Silver

You can kiss a nun once, you may even kiss a nun twice, but you must never get into the habit.

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u/CoziestGhost 5d ago

Fuck you, take my upvote.

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u/demibrow 5d ago

The clip stated she had "A habit for seducing women" I hope that pun was intentional

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u/Nunyabiz8107 5d ago

That, and the clothing worn by members of a religious order, such as nuns, are also called a habit.

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u/thejollyface 6d ago

She even burned the convent down to free her!

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u/apprehensivepears 6d ago

This woman seems badass, per:this page about her life

“[Her and her partner at the time] earned what they could from giving fencing demonstrations at fairs and in taverns – at one, a man refused to believe she was really a woman because she was simply too good. She took off her blouse and the crowd fell silent.”

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u/SpicedPumpkinRum 5d ago

Was coming here to post this. Good author and lots of research. Would recommend for anyone wanting all the true bits - if not, there is a tv show (in French) about her, but it’s over the top.

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u/Born_Ad_4826 5d ago

Ok why do we have Vikings and The Last Kingdom and so many other shows but not this?!

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u/LadyGuitar2021 Trans Sapphic Forest Witch ♀ 5d ago

Right? I want the Ridley Scott halfway accurate but amazing anyway movie about her NOW!!!

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u/Dronizian 6d ago

Julie d'Aubigne is the only historical figure I've ever had a crush on. She later burned down a church to run away with her nun lover, if I remember correctly.

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u/hiperson134 6d ago

Just heard about this from Strange Aeon's new video about historical queer nuns.

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u/ghfdghjkhg Witch ☉ 6d ago

I think I just fell in love??? Help, what do I do now? She is wonderful.

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

Falling in love with historical figures sucks cause you literally cannot have them.

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u/ghfdghjkhg Witch ☉ 5d ago

Well next time I come across a "If you could meet any person dead or alive, who would it be?" question on r /askreddit I'll know who I want to meet lol.

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u/representativeno7218 6d ago

sneaking into conversion camp to continue being gay and then burn it the fuck down is a level of big dick energy to which I aspire

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

When I watched "But I'm a Cheerleader" I was sure someone would burn the camp down... I'm still mad no one did.

I would absolutely love to go to one of those hellholes to break another woman out and then burn it down to escape.

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u/danktonium Geek Witch ♀ 5d ago

Seducing ten married women. This requires a truly rancid amount of swagger.

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

More than ten, that's just the number whose husbands she killed.

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u/peleles 6d ago

I'm in love 💓💓💓💓

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u/MadameWesker 6d ago

Bad ass bitch

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u/Enby_Bluejay 6d ago

Damn right

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u/Elon_is_musky 5d ago

Daaamn, she fucked your wife AND took your life🤭🔥

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

And when the men survived the duel she'd seduce them too - she once bested a man in a duel, then later shagged him. Her same sex exploits are NUTS but her opposite sex ones are fascinating too, let's not bi-erasure such an incredible queer icon.

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u/Elon_is_musky 5d ago

Oh she is ICONIC iconic 😳🤭😂🔥

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u/sunshinecygnet 6d ago

There really needs to be a movie about her.

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u/HephaestusHarper 6d ago

I'm amazed she hasn't shown up as a love interest for Sara on Legends of Tomorrow.

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u/AnEpicHibiscus 5d ago

Seriously. If movie producers looked a bit into history for stories like this, that would be fantastic! The stuff that’s “popular” or in theaters usually is just kinda the same crap, but with a different bow on top:/

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u/TiredAngryBadger 6d ago

It is extremely important for a young woman to have strong and proper role models. Stupid opera pun but this lady most certainly fits the bill.

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u/immersemeinnature 6d ago

OMG. Where's the movie!!

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u/MxLittleLuna 6d ago

Goals. 😎😎😎

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u/Random_puns 6d ago

And still so many men believe that women are the weaker sex....

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u/stellarecho92 6d ago

Historically, what would happen to the women after she killed their husbands? I feel concerned for how unethical it could be if it was condemning the women to poverty. Anyone know?

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u/Big_Ol_Boy 5d ago

I feel like a little more than that might be unethical about her

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u/Killer-Of-Spades Geek Witch ♀♂️☉⚧ 6d ago

Not mentioned: she was bisexual, but as is apparent tradition, only her same sex relations are mentioned, because apparently that’s all that’s important

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u/Dronizian 6d ago

She bested a guy in a duel and later shagged him. This lady was one of the most interesting humans ever, it's so sad her "hetero-passing" exploits almost never get mentioned.

Bi/pan erasure is Reddit tradition. This is the way.

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u/Yvaelle 5d ago

She was married to a man for most of her exploits, probably as a beard to a gay noble who was overseas for much of her life. Her first lover was her male dueling instructor who she was with for years. She also had an affair with a male opera singer that lasted some years.

So yea, despite being renowned for stealing wives, she was entirely bisexual.

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

She'll steal your wife, then steal you from her. Even more insanely powerful than just a lady wife-stealer.

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u/Dronizian 5d ago

"I'll fuck you AND your wife!" is so much better than "I'll fuck your wife."

As a regular unicorn, I can confirm this.

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u/January_Rain_Wifi Witch ♀♂️☉⚧ 5d ago

This is the tip of the iceberg. Look up her full story, you will not be disappointed

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u/sfier4 6d ago

*freed 10 women

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u/bluebells662 6d ago

I need more of this energy in my life.

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u/LisaKnittyCSI 6d ago

I love her so much! I learned about her a few years ago. I just want to know why has no one made a movie about this woman?!

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u/whatim 5d ago

Because there's no one cool enough to play her!

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u/bakarac 6d ago

The kind of lady I'm pansexual for

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u/dixiehellcat 5d ago

Every time I see her story spreading, I wonder WHY Hollywood keeps remaking the same batch of limp scripts instead of hiring a good writer to do this epic some justice.

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u/SpiralBreeze 6d ago

Wow, what a bad ass!

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u/FoxyRose13 6d ago

High up on the list of historical figures I'd like to bang

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u/chaosgirl93 Mystic ♀ 5d ago

Yeah. Screw the standing stones and Jamie, or Claire for that matter, I wanna time travel in France and end up with Julie!

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u/Amalaiel Witch ♀ 5d ago

I need this to be either a series or a movie

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u/raven-of-the-sea 5d ago

Ngl. The only time I have played a horny bard type character, I was playing a genderfluid courtesan based on Julie D’aubigny. Raging flirt, theatrical, and could not turn off the goofy for five minutes.

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u/RebbyRose 6d ago

She went for what she wanted!

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u/Alone-Sweet3396 6d ago

I wish I was the nun

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u/InLazlosBasement 6d ago

This is the way

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u/MelodyMaster5656 5d ago

For any DND players, she’s literally a swords bard.

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u/aunt_satan 5d ago

Haven't felt this way since the first episode of Xena.

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u/ThreeEdgeSword 6d ago

I never knew, TIL:)

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u/Key_Rise666 6d ago

I love her

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u/Momoethecat 6d ago

This energy right here!! yaassss!!!

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u/Goodstuff_maynard 6d ago

All I can say to this is.

Damn girl!

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u/BlooomQueen 6d ago

My great great grandfather ran away with a nun in Spain. Something about nuns just really do it for some.😂

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u/Starlightandspirits 6d ago

Me in my 20s.🤣🤣🤣

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u/unkomisete Science Witch ♀ 5d ago

Isn't Mylene Farmer's song Libertine about her?

What an absolute badass.

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u/SmutGrrl 5d ago

Aww…she’s an idol! 🤩💕

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u/Kidgen 5d ago

Frick yeah! Bi hero here! Go Julie it's your birthday. Proceeds to whirl daddy

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u/13curseyoukhan 5d ago

Where's THAT movie?

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u/Nicetrybozo 5d ago

Oh she was a str8 G 😂😭

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u/ThginkAccbeR Geek Witch ♀ 5d ago

I think I’m in love!

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u/Sof04 5d ago

Girl gave bitches orgasms and widowhood… my fucking hero. And she sang!… Opera!!! Wow, if you tell me she was left handed I’m going to lose my shit!

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u/BangBangMeatMachine 5d ago

WHY HAS NOBODY MADE A MOVIE OF HER LIFE YET!?

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u/everneveragain 5d ago

There’s a good nun/habit pun in there

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u/KombatBunn1 5d ago

Oof, bad ass lady. I like :D

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u/NWAsquared 5d ago

S.F.D. - suck, fuck, and duel.

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u/my_only_outlet 5d ago

Yeah I want to be her

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u/yirzmstrebor 5d ago

Real-life DnD Bard!

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u/Steener1989 5d ago

More like BODACIOUS. What a boss!

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u/Hiseworns 5d ago

227/10, would gladly get seduced by

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u/TheDemonCzarina 5d ago

New role model unlocked

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u/Significant-Stay-721 6d ago

Am I the only one thinking … sitcom?!

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u/Embarrassed_Bee6349 6d ago

This woman is a ninja.

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